Try to play this track while reading ..
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It's been 4 years and 4 months from now .. 25th of Jan. 2010, 2:00 AM she was gone I'm talking about the unnoticeable light in my tiny life , I'm taking about the most beautiful and caring woman I've ever seen .. Grandma I didn't have enough , I wanted more I know you've had enough of lifebut i didn't realize that you mean that much to me before, but It's different now ..I was a little girl 4 years ago.. but I'm old enough now can't you see !
she’s my grandmother god bless her soul .. I didn’t accept it i mean THE IDEA OF DEATH i blamed my mother for letting her go just like that .. !! for accepting the whole thing i didn’t feel it , i didn’t spill a tear for like 2 years over her cause i thought that if i did it means that i’m accepting her death it feels like when you are in the middle of nowhere ..i wanted to kill all the grandmothers in the world just to feel that everything is normal ..:P *IMAGINE*cause now simply and suddenly I realized that everything isn't the same after her like when you feel there is lack of blessings after her death, but why now ?! I mean I should'v got this feeling back then not now ! now I feel like there's plenty of topics we can discuss, it just hurts badly I can notice my mother crying sometimes .. seriously how come she's moving on after the death of her mother.. how could she be so strong !! cause if it was me god knows if I'll survive
So here's why i'm saying all of this because if your grandmother still alive go and cover her with kisses , go through nonsense topics with her, dance in front of her and if she asked you what are you doing tell her "shut up grandma, I just love you so freaking much" cause trust me it hurts
the idea of death hurts ...!!
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